Author Topic: Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.  (Read 2771 times)

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Offline HaNacisKO

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Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.
« on: August 26, 2012, 06:55:04 PM »
Iīm so exhausted by most of the players who behave like retards, so I have decided to write an "expansion pack" for the well known "The Seal Hunter Multiplayer Bible" by cubrman.
So at first, click on this link and read this!

http://forums.sealhunter.se/index.php?topic=564.msg3333#msg3333

Then read following words:

1) Entering the game
I always play at game named "17-25 lvl only, no cheats", so donīt try to enter the game, if you are using cheats, or you are beginner with low level.

Iīll kick you immediately!

Please greeting me (or players in the game) by saying "Hi", "Hello", "Yo" or something in your language. I can speak with english, german, czech, slovak, polish language and i can understand russian language family, so write SOMETHING please.

Retards spamming "reset", "restart" or another bullshits immediately after entering the game will be kicked!

Be patient and wait until the game ends.

2) You
Please donīt say you are PRO if you really arenīt!
Most "PRO" players join my game with stupid loadout like mp5+grenades+m79+carlgustav+minigun, or more/less stupid variant of this loadout.

I always kick this kind of players!

Do not suspect me from cheating, my gaming is 100% legit, so I will kick everyone who will do that!

3) Your loadout
Please, donīt be "Army shop owner". Donīt use TONS of useless weapons one after the other.
For example: magnum -> mp5 -> dual macs -> m16 -> AWP
You can get every weapon only by using shotgun (or by magnum only in some cases), so dont waste your and TEAM money by using MORE weapons!

But there is the most important thing:
PUT LAND MINES INTO YOUR LOADOUT AFTER YOU REACH 17 LVL!

22-25 lvl players without land mines will be kicked immediately!*
19-21 lvl players without land mines may be kicked (it depends on my mood, how pissed off Iīll be at the moment)
17-18 lvl players will be asked to put land mines into their loadout

So if I ask you to use the land mines, you have to ADD THEM IMMEDIATELY without saying anything, or Iīll kick you!

*There are special ways to win the game, for example two players playing shotgun+minigun without land mines, but that is different case than "Army shop ownerīs" loadout.

4) Playing the game
Most things have been written in cubermanīs Bible, but there are still some special cases:

- If you buy land mines instead of magnum or another weapon in the first or second round by a mistake, DONīT PANIC AND CONTINUE PLAYING! You can use that mines against the first round boss or use it later.
Every player who will stop playing and cause game loss will be kicked!

- Polar bears are always problem for beginners so follow theese instructions:
Start from the top and then continue by killing each to the bottom. Many experienced players will spam "UP", "GO UP", "TOP" so start at the top please.
Wait for other players and KILL THAT BEARS TOGETHER!
Every player who will try to kill polar bear on his own and cause game loss will be kicked!

- Turtles are another problem, so:
If you have AWP, M79, grenades or something what can easy kill the turtle, DONīT KILL ANOTHER PLAYERīS TURTLE UNTIL ANOTHER PLAYER ASK YOU FOR DOING THAT!
That player will loose his 500 dollars and your team will be weakened in the last round, because players may be waiting for the minigun or another expensive weapon.
You may be kicked for doing that!

- Leaving the game without reason or writing something
If you do that, Iīll be kicking you until i forget your nickname, so donīt do it.

5) Last words
I hope, I have written everything I wanted to write. If I find something, Iīll add that to this manual.

If you think Iīm cruel and Iīm kicking everybody, you are right, but that is THE ONLY WAY to "produce" normal players. Iīm well known for doing that...


PS: spread this manual together with cubermanīs Bible to all your friends, you can save my nerves and nerves of most of the experienced players.

Thanks.



There is no difference between Kylie Minogue and my puntgun. I love both of them, hihi. :-)

Europe - different countries, different nations, but same retards. OMFG, read the game name first!

Offline cubrman

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Re: Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2012, 10:43:23 AM »
Jeasus, never thought that post of mine was read by anyone but me). I am so embarrassed). I am very proud to see my post mentioned by a true TSH veteran.
The Seal Hunter, as well as Seal hunter are rare examples of games made with love. I honestly respect the authors of these games and cannot even express how grateful I am to you for these masterpieces.

Thank you!

Offline HaNacisKO

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Re: Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2012, 11:47:07 AM »
I have read your manual one year ago and everything you have written is 100% right. It is the BEST manual and it may be send to all new players by an email, because many of them are still doing the same mistakes...
« Last Edit: September 07, 2012, 11:57:29 AM by HaNacisKO »
There is no difference between Kylie Minogue and my puntgun. I love both of them, hihi. :-)

Europe - different countries, different nations, but same retards. OMFG, read the game name first!

Offline andre1ka93

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Re: Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2012, 09:05:04 PM »
Excellent article  :)

Offline indie

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Re: Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2012, 09:48:07 AM »
found it a little bit funny. you express like you are the only host on the server. "normal" (as you say) players will not lick your ass by doing what you say to them.
Murrrrrr

Offline Fredrikorex

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Re: Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2012, 04:55:56 PM »
found it a little bit funny. you express like you are the only host on the server. "normal" (as you say) players will not lick your ass by doing what you say to them.
Well said, Sir. Well said. ;D
POW! Ha ha!

Offline HaNacisKO

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Re: Donīt be retard! Learn to behave as normal player.
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2012, 07:54:25 PM »
"normal" (as you say) players will not lick your ass by doing what you say to them.
I donīt expect licking my ass or my worship. But do you think it is normal to do obvious fails again and again especially after 10 people in 4 games say you are doing it bad?  Well trained monkey can play this easy game much better than lot of new 25 lvl players!
For me "normal player" is a person learning from previous fails, asking other players how to play it better way and following their hints. Same as in real life, nothing less, nothing more.
There is no difference between Kylie Minogue and my puntgun. I love both of them, hihi. :-)

Europe - different countries, different nations, but same retards. OMFG, read the game name first!